How to Stop Contradicting Your Affirmations

The reason you use affirmations is to reprogram your brain, beliefs, and habits or attachments to negative beliefs and behaviors so you get the outcomes you desire . . . right? If you practice self-sabotage in this area, here are a few pointers to assist you.

Affirmations are often thought of as feel-good statements, and they certainly should be; but if you have little to no belief that there is truth to a statement, Law of Attraction will perform perfectly and you will wonder why the shift or result you desire is not happening.

An affirmation states something is a truth, no matter what has happened before. This gets tricky because if you believe the past as true evidence or proof (rather than a result of your beliefs and thoughts), it can be a challenge to believe the affirmation over the false proof that demonstrated otherwise.

Stating and repeating an affirmation that your inner voice contradicts means, without realizing it, you just affirmed (stated as a fact) the contradiction as your reality . . . not the original affirmation.

“As thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee,” explains exactly how Law of Attraction works. It doesn’t say as you hope or wish, but as you believe. If you state an affirmation and return to struggling as before, you miss the point. Law of Attraction works for you to the degree you believe it can or does.

It is vital that you replace an old belief that no longer serves you (and this includes what you call facts) with the energy vibration of what you now claim as your new reality. Even starting by believing in the possibility it can be your reality has a higher vibration than believing it cannot. You can hold the vibration of new possibilities and outcomes of the affirmation as your truth.

Believing doesn’t mean have a belief as much as it means have faith. Faith comes from true knowing, from knowing the Truth. Spirit is an absolute presence in your life because it is All That Is and all you are. Law of Attraction is a force, a tool, and it works without fail by matching your vibrations. Spirit uses Law of Attraction to receive and respond to your requests and as the means to allow you to self-evolve. But even Spirit follows the Law and responds in direct proportion to what you believe and how much you believe it.

Belief comes from intellect; faith comes from absolute trust in the Truth of Spirit and that Law of Attraction works every time. It is a feeling. It is a knowing as a result of having a genuine, ongoing relationship with Spirit and conscious use of the Law. Ask yourself what such a relationship looks and feels like to you. If this is not your current experience, ask Spirit to show you how to make it so and how to understand Law of Attraction. Your request will be answered.

And remember: beliefs change; truths never do.

Joyce Shafer, L.E.C., is the 4P Power Coach (jls1422@yahoo.com). 4P Power Coaching is for those who wish to use a spiritual approach (and tools) to life and business through conscious use of Law of Attraction. Details, free newsletter, quiz, and more at http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance ~ Books, reviews, preview chapters at http://www.lulu.com/, including Law of Attraction Alchemy, which includes 64 powerful affirmations – with a twist!

12 emPOWERment Energizers

Place these 12 empowering, energizing reminders where you can easily see them during the day.

1. Any comment made by you or others about you that vibrates, “I am not what, who, where, or when I am supposed to be,” creates a reflection through Law of Attraction that causes delay. It obstructs and hinders your good coming to you. Use this instead:
“I am always in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, and the right action.” Agree to see this as a statement of the bigger picture (and true) and watch what happens. It is more important to witness how far you’ve come than to judge or compare yourself to where others are or where you think you should be. If you were supposed to be somewhere else, you’d be there. If you want to know what your next step is, ask Spirit.

2. Ask! Ask Spirit for everything. You’ll get far more than if you never or seldom ask. Forget what the self-limiting mind of man has told you about asking and receiving. Spirit doesn’t follow the mind of man, and Spirit patiently waits for you to ask so it can give from its infinite well of All That Is Good and Yours. The more you do of anything, the better you get at it. Also, think of it as any gift-giving holiday. You really would not choose to receive every gift you will get across your lifetime all at once; you want time to savor the gifts and to feel the anticipation of getting and removing the wrapping from each one.

3. Believe everything that is yours is yours already; you just need to collect it or allow delivery. You are not separate from Spirit. You are an individualized expression of Spirit. This means everything Spirit is and has, you are and have. Allow the feeling of what this really means to permeate you. Agree to be what you already are and to receive what is already yours. The greatest thing you have is your connection to Spirit.

4. Let go of waiting for anything to arrive. Waiting is anxious energy. Expect it. Know your Good, whatever it is, is yours and arrives with perfect timing. Get yourself mentally and emotionally out of the way of its arrival by putting your attention elsewhere. Go play; accomplish or attend to something else until it (or something even better) arrives.

5. Own every moment and experience as yours (I can hear some of the comments about this). Recognize if you experience it, you vibrated it into your reality. Like energy attracts like energy. Let go of judgment about this and embrace learning. Ask yourself, “What is my opportunity here?” Take responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, words, actions, and energetic vibrations. This is the path of freedom and joyful expression and living.

6. Honor all steps, small and large, as you strengthen and lengthen your “stride” in your conscious spiritual awareness. No judgment. Every success at accepting more self-responsibility is to be honored and celebrated.

7. Learn to recognize that if you do not feel good or serene, you have reduced or disconnected (in your mind only) your connection to Spirit. As soon as you reconnect, you will feel better and things will shift. Again . . . like energy attracts like energy.

8. Thoughts without feeling have no or little magnetic charge. This is why (thank goodness) every thought we have does not manifest. Anytime you replay anything that does not make you feel good and do so with as much emotion as though you are experiencing it now (re-read No. 7), that is what you will magnetize. If you choose to “replay” something, do it with as little emotional involvement as possible. But, why not magnetize what makes you feel the way you wish to feel by feeling some of it first. Let where you want to go be where you start from.

9. State Intentions. Start every day by stating what you intend for the day and how you intend to feel. How do you wish to feel at the end of the day? What will you have to do at the inner level to achieve this? Also state your intentions about how you wish to feel before, during, and after phone calls, emails, conversations, meetings, events, working on projects, etc. Use this as often as possible and you will be amazed at how your experiences shift.

10. Let go of operating against yourself. Think of all the ways you do this, negative self-talk being one of the primary ways. Trying to please others rather than being authentic and in personal integrity is another. What other ways do you operate against yourself? Take note of these during your day.

11. It is not so much a matter of creating as it is a matter of directing. Read that again and see if you feel the liberating energy of it.

12. We know word usage is important when it comes to right use of Law of Attraction. We hear that using “want, need, desire” and so forth creates more want, need, and desire energy matches to those words. Better not to go crazy about this when we just want a simple conversation (or write an article); but when it comes to stating intentions, what about using “I request of myself and Spirit . . .”

Keep these 12 points on hand. Give them an opportunity to make a difference in how you experience the moments of your life . . . emPOWERed.

Get Peaceful, Poised, On Purpose, and EmPowered in life and business with Joyce Shafer, L.E.C., the 4P Power Coach (jls1422@yahoo.com). Visit http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance to learn more. (Send email if the link acts out.) Get her free newsletter, take the quiz, and get book discounts at her website. Her books, reviews, and preview chapters are also available at lulu.com, including newly-released Law of Attraction Alchemy: Change Lead Thoughts into Gold.

Review: Great "How To" Book - 12 Sep 2008
by Roger Aucoin
Ever try to lose excess body fat or put on muscle, but everything you read is for a different body type, activity level, age, etc., so that what you read cannot be readily applied by you today? Well, Joyce Shafer has solved that problem when it comes to understanding how to manifest your dreams. Ms Shafer, in her very inexpensively priced book, provides sixty-four (64) statements you can immediately use and apply to your life... TODAY! WHAT A GOLD MINE! I am engaged in my journey to use these alchemy statements every day for ninety days. I fully expect aspects of my leadened life to become golden. I highly recommend that you make the investment to do the same.

Be What It Is You Desire

Is the meaning of this article’s title clear to you? If yes, terrific; if not, you’ll appreciate some tips to assist you to not only understand it but put it into practice.

What often happens to us is if we experience something once, we project that experience onto similar experiences . . . before they happen. We hear comments from people like, “Oh, I KNOW how THIS is going to go,” before it happens. Maybe we hear, “I said it would go like this,” or “I knew this would happen.” And the connection between anticipating a result and experiencing it is seldom or never made by the person.

The fact is, we can’t control every event or how people behave. But if you’re going someplace or doing something and expect a bad experience, don’t be surprised when you get it.

What about this? If you want to have a good experience, be a good experience. What does this mean?

It doesn’t mean you pretend anything, like being all happy and peppy. You can decide to be fully authentic (completely present in each moment), be an observer of yourself and others, ask questions from curiosity rather than trying to force behaviors or outcomes.

There are numerous ways you can be a good experience for yourself and others. Is the person at the register ringing up your items at the store not smiling or grumpy? How far do you think a kind word from you might go? If the person doesn’t lighten or brighten up from your smile or kind comment, that’s not about you. Feel good about taking a positive action. The first step to having a good experience is to choose it, then be it. Be it for yourself; others are responsible for how they perceive their experiences.

Don’t feel successful? Maybe you need to take your definition of success to a deeper level. People with self-esteem issues often neglect to recognize and celebrate their successes, which are many and of all sizes. Verbally pat yourself on the back for even so much as showing up for an appointment on time. We ignore the little successes. Usually this is because our little successes weren’t supported by others while growing up. Okay, maybe that happened. Now it’s time to do this for your self. And, don’t hesitate to do this for others. It feels really good to catch someone doing something right and express your appreciation to them.

Don’t think you’re abundant? Time to recognize you and everything are expressions of the one energy we call God, Spirit, Universe, and so forth. Look around. What exists and what continues to be created and expanded is amazing. You’re a part of it . . . the moment you agree to be . . . the moment you agree to receive . . . the moment you replace any doubt about deserving with understanding your birthright as an expression of Spirit.

Fueled by fears? Fear is another word for Expectation. This goes back to what I wrote above. What would you prefer to expect?

One reason so many people are turning to spiritual empowerment coaching is because they want to not just lift the veil of illusions, but get rid of them altogether. Which illusions? The ones promoted by so many that say we’re limited, we lack, we don’t deserve, it’s hard, accept less, and the list is too long and tedious to include here. Besides, the list is all false stories when you get right down to it; and no one repeats these stories to us as often as we do. Law of Attraction isn’t a buzz phrase; it’s a real principle at work in our lives.

What do you desire to be, to experience? If you find a way to become it at the inner level, you’re it. And then, you won’t be surprised when you experience it.

Manage Your Energy to Manage Your Manifestations online course starts 9/14/08--see http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance Joyce Shafer, L.E.C., is a Spiritual/Life Empowerment Coach (jls1422@yahoo.com). Get her free newsletter, take the quiz, get book discounts, and learn about her $200 first-month coaching special on her website.

Manage Your Energy to Manage Your Manifestations

Ahhh . . . the confusion about Law of Attraction, affirmations, ask/don’t ask . . . these things do swirl around in our minds. Can you really get the hang of using this Law so it works for you, and release doubts and fears? Of course.

What are some of the things we need to know or remember in order to use the Law of Attraction so it works for us?

The primary thing to remember is your connection to Spirit, which means your connection to everyone and everything, as well. If you ever feel alone, lonely, or that you’re struggling on your own, you’ve closed out your eternal partner . . . Spirit. Spirit wants only the best for you because you are Spirit having an individualized experience of itself. Whether you take the spiritual or scientific viewpoint on this, there is only one energy, one consciousness, but it has many facets. The only separation between us is in our minds and our understanding.

If we focus our energy (match our vibrations) to a specific condition in our lives, say, one we don’t like, we feed it as though it is real and eternal rather than a finite effect/experience that resulted from a cause. We tend to tell ourselves and others stories about events in our lives until we believe them more than the truth of who we are and what we’re empowered by Spirit to accomplish. You cannot change or shift anything if you focus on what’s wrong or not working. You have to focus on the preferred outcome and you have to trust there’s a Divine plan Spirit holds for itself (and us) at work always and in all ways. We often forget to realize if we can do this for events we perceive as negative, we can also do this to feed the positives about ourselves and our experiences. We can’t control everything or how others behave, but we can control how we choose to experience our lives.

You can affirm out the yin/yang about what you want or need, but needy energy repels what or who you seek to have in your life. It also creates more need of what you need, because this is how the Law of Attraction works. This cycle is like the snake devouring itself or a dog chasing its tail. Nor can you pretend to be in a state of absolute faith if you’re not. What you can do is ask Spirit to show you what to do, and you will get an answer. A benefit of doing this is it shifts your energy from matching a condition to matching the expectation of Spirit to show you the way. Just doing this raises your energy and aligns you with a solution rather than a problem. Use affirmations to state the Truth about yourself and your Spirit-given power, talents, abilities, and unique personality.

Honor your feelings. Many cultures condition us to stuff down or deny our feelings. Well, we know this really doesn’t work. It doesn’t mean we have to express what we feel to anyone who’ll listen (whether they want to or not) or wear them on our metaphorical sleeve, but we can express what we really feel to ourselves. Whether with a pen or at a keyboard, get them all out. Don’t let them fester inside of you. When you hide your feelings from yourself, you give them more power than they are supposed to receive. Feelings provide information so we know how to look out for our best interests. Let them feed you with information, don’t feed them with your energy.

Ask Spirit for what you want, even if it’s the next step or which path to take. Write down your question or request; tell Spirit why you want this. Write down your concerns, doubts, and fears then tell Spirit you give all of this over to it. Ask for a clear direction or answer and put a time-limit on it. Want it within 24 hours? Ask for it. Then stay open to receiving what you need to know or do. (I recently had quite a result with this one!)

Do you really want what you say you want? Create a rate scale of 0 through 10. Zero represents Not Concerned with This at This Moment, and 10 represents I Intend to Make This My Reality. Pick something you believe you want and rate how much you believe you want it. Now make another scale where 0 represents I Won’t Do Anything At All About This and 10 represents I’ll Do Whatever It Takes. Rate the level of energy you’re willing to put into making this your reality. You might even do one rating for inner energy and one for outer. Do your scale numbers match? Which one is higher, which one is lower? What might you need to do to get them aligned, or did you discover maybe this is not what you want, you want something completely different? Be honest with yourself. You want an authentic life, not one tailored to anyone else’s idea of what your life should be.

What are your beliefs? Write down what you believe about what you want, about whether you deserve it or not, whether it can/will be yours or not. Which beliefs serve you? Which limit you? Which beliefs would you rather have, and which will cause you to match your vibrations to what you want?

If this seems like a lot of work to you, consider the phrase: When you do what you love, you never work another day. This means doing work you love never or seldom feels like work; it feels harmonious, on purpose, and energizing. If you can feel this way about yourself and your life, it won’t be work. It will be harmonious, on purpose, and energizing.

Details for Manage Your Energy to Manage Your Manifestations online course (starts 9/14/08) are at http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance . On the website, sign up for Joyce Shafer’s, L.E.C. (Spiritual/Life Empowerment Coach) free newsletter, take the quiz, and get book discounts (jls1422@yahoo.com).

Law of Attraction: The Stalemate to Manifestation

Another word for stalemate is deadlock. When you feel your ability to manifest or use the Law of Attraction hits a wall, “this” is the reason.

First a brief introduction, reminder, or new perspective (Yes, there are still those this is new to):

There’s only One “substance,” One Law, One Cause, and many Effects. Any conflict or “lack” in our lives is the result of how we use this Truth . . . but there is a key point.

The Law of Attraction states that the emotionally-charged thoughts we hold (emphasis on the word “hold”) directs what manifests for us. There’s a blend of mysticism and science called quantum mechanics. Both say the same thing: there’s a field of energy in existence that congeals thought forms into real experiences.

This field is like soil. Soil performs according to certain laws. When we plant a seed or seedling into it, it doesn’t refuse to grow what we plant. It doesn’t judge the person who planted as unworthy to receive and benefit from the crop. It doesn’t think, it responds; and it responds by growing what we plant and nurture (our repetitive thoughts) into a result (expansion into our lives of what we focus on). All we have to do is understand the laws soil has programmed into it. When we understand its laws and use them correctly, we get the soil to produce what we need or choose for it to do for us. And, what it produces can feed, clothe, and house us; and give us material to make violins or violence.

The field, like soil, follows the Law; and the Law follows our moment-by-moment feeling/thought vibrations. We direct, we don’t create. The field creates according to our instructions . . . because that’s the Law.

The experience of prosperity or any effect requires we embody the consciousness of prosperity. The Effect always matches the Cause in vibration.

Now, here’s the key: Affirming or stating something is yours and simultaneously believing you don’t deserve it or won’t get it, negates having what you desire. The two thoughts cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Until you choose, your situation or experience is at a stalemate.

We also need to pay attention to how small or large we imagine experiences for ourselves. The Source (or whichever word you choose) wants us to ask or claim what we desire to experience. Its very existence and behavior proves its nature is to create and expand. We, as expressions of it, have the inherent right to ask for whatever we want and receive it. No one, especially Source, is going to pat you on the back for asking for very little or for not taking up too much space. Even the universe we reside in continues its expansion.

Ask yourself what will remove doubt from your mind. Dream and desire; then dream and desire even more.

Joyce Shafer is a Spiritual Empowerment Coach and writer (jls1422@yahoo.com). Buy her new e-book that’s like a B-12 shot for affirmations and understanding manifestation, “Law of Attraction Alchemy: Change Lead Thoughts into Gold,” at http://www.lulu.com/content/3567513 ($6.95) -- Buy directly from Joyce ($5.95) at her Website. If you’re ready for more success and balance in every area of your life, see her coaching offers at http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance

Law of Attraction: Do You Feel the Vibes?

You’ve heard or read it: The Law of Attraction (your order form that goes directly to Source/All That Is) responds to your deepest-held belief and/or feeling about everything and mirrors it back to you in your life. How’s this working for you?

You can identify what you desire to expand into your life through the back door: “Well, what I don’t want is . . .” (which will only create more of what you don’t want) or, you can walk through the grand entrance. Fact: The human brain omits the word “don’t”. So does the quantum field (our larger brain). “Don’t slam the door,” is heard by a human brain as “Slam the door.” “Don’t let me lack” is heard by the quantum field as . . . Big Oops, huh? As I’ve told friends and clients, it’s better to state what you want than what you don’t want. The mathematical law applies: The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

One of the quickest ways to do this is to recognize that no matter how many expressions of the energy exist (think of everything that’s ever been, is now, is becoming, and will become) . . . there’s only one energy.

Each of us allows the energy to do what it does best through us: create more. And it creates more of what we focus our attention on repeatedly.

Take a moment to think or feel this concept: If the energy is in everything (and it is), then it’s in you, the food you eat, everyone else, every thing (and this includes money), then you’re surrounded by, permeated by, the abundance and creative aspect of All That Is.

Let’s pick on the favorite topic of so many: money. First, it doesn’t exist. From the quantum mechanics perspective, there’s nothing there but the illusion we’ve created in a holographic field held together by conscious thought, created so we can have an experience (true for everything we think is solid). We even demonstrate this to ourselves in the physical realm every time we use an automatic transfer. What we’re really exchanging is energy and calling it money. Our electronic age is reflecting this fact to us, and most of us don’t even see it. When you move money into or out of your account electronically, what moves? Agreed-to numbers, right?

If you’d like to increase your numbers or experiences, one way to not accomplish this is to have your attention on not having it already. If that last sentence sounds confusing, it’s no more confusing than how we process our desire for more on our order form we place into the field. You’ll get there quicker if you can touch the feeling that there’s no separation between you, the field, source, and what you desire except in your perception that there is.

What’s a good way to expand into your life those things you desire to experience more of? Name them, but from a different perspective. If you want better clients, cash flow, projects, relationships, whatever . . . write down what these look and feel like to you. What would be the ideal? Since everything is energy, including and especially thought, are your focused thoughts and feelings aligned with that ideal? Are they aligned with allowing your ideal into your life? Are you Absolutely Free of Any Doubt that this can be yours, and in fact, is yours if you’ll just allow it?

Think of one thing you manifested using the Law of Attraction (I know you have, even if just to think of someone and they contacted you shortly after your thought). Maybe you thought, “I’m going to get XYZ,” and you found one somewhere or someone offered it to you because they were getting rid of it. Now think of something you’ve been affirming, but don’t feel you’ve received or it’s not coming fast enough. What’s different?

Actually, I do suggest you ponder that for yourself so you get your own answers. I’ll share that when I did this, I recognized that with the “simple” stuff, my comment to myself about attaining or obtaining something was matter-of-fact and had zero doubt attached to it. What’s the difference between the “smaller” stuff and the “larger” stuff? Perception.

There’s no small or large stuff. Any small stuff you’ve created proved to you that the Law of Attraction works and it works when you align what you vibrate about it to having it.

Everything we have in our life is a direct result of a vibration we hold. Feel the vibes of having it. Trust that “it” or something even better is yours. Allow it. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’re living it and onto creating something else.

Joyce Shafer is an author and empowerment coach in New York City. See her books at http://www.lulu.com. Email Joyce or visit her Website to get in on her 2-book special--$5 (“I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say” and “How to Have What You REALLY Want” at http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance

Law of Attraction: One Size Does Not Fit All

In less than 24 hours, I've received three separate emails saying, "If the Law of Attraction isn't working for you, here's the answer." But is it? How many answers can there be?

I don’t have to tell you how many great people there are offering books, products, and services about the Law of Attraction. And I have to say, I appreciate them all. They’re awesome people and provide remarkable information; and there have been times when what they provide came to me at just the exact moment I needed it. However . . .

Nod your head if you know what the “however” is . . . Why doesn’t it always work for Me? It’s a question shared by many.

Some manifestations are easy-peasy, aren’t they? Some aren’t. Even though you practice patience, trust right timing, affirm out the wazoo, hold your fingers a certain way, burn a candle and utter incantations, follow any and every technique . . . there’s a moment when you ask, “What the heck is going on?” only maybe you don’t say “heck.”

The Law of Attraction works. You know this. It’s those darned limiting beliefs that are stopping you from getting what you want in certain matters. Some are immediately obvious, some are not. It’s the ones that are not that hold you back. I faced this one myself when I had the feeling there was a metaphoric switch that needed to be flipped regarding one particularly stubborn-seeming area of my life.

The realization came to me that using the Law of Attraction is like finding the right diet or way of eating that works for you. You know that some people follow a plan and they drop the weight. You follow the plan and either not much happens or you gain. Why? You’re a unique individual. Maybe your body metabolizes the recommended food items differently, or you don’t even know you’re sensitive to certain ones. The common theme or thread is that an eating plan right for you will work.

It’s the same with the Law of Attraction. Maybe what would assist you is to discover which individual beliefs or triggers are buried so deep that you can’t see them, but you definitely feel and live the outcomes they create no matter how exactly you follow someone’s steps.

One way to do this is to ask the right questions rather than immediately look for the right answers. If the answers were obvious, you’d know them already.

If you feel stuck right now, a good exercise as a first step is to write down every expectation from others that may be attached to your energy . . . from family members and childhood to friends and associates in your life now. You’ll probably notice how some of these expectations contradict each other. You may realize that the only person you haven’t heard from or listened to about what you’re “supposed” to do in every area of your life (to create your personally fulfilling life) is you.

When the time is appropriate, take several minutes to do this exercise. See what comes up. The only reason someone doesn’t have the life they truly desire is because something at the inner level stops them from having it. Maybe it’s time to call it out, call it what it is, and find your appropriate way to go beyond it.

One thing I’d like to encourage you to do is stop thinking you must once and for all Get It Right, otherwise known as the Perfection Infection. You are a process. Your life is a process. Learning, growing, and expanding into who you are and desire to be is a process. If you not only make peace with the process, but make it your soulmate, you’ll feel stronger and more self-empowered than you’ve ever imagined possible.

Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com) is a Life Empowerment Coach and author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say and How to Have What You REALLY Want (lulu.com). If you’re ready to discover how to make the Law of Attraction work for you as a unique individual (and get in on the coaching special available until July 30), visit http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance
[The link should work. If it doesn’t, send an email.]

Law of Attraction: I’m Good at the Small Stuff

Maybe you’ve attracted some interesting items, people, or events into your life, but some of what you want is giving you a challenge. What’s different?

If you’ve used the Law of Attraction, you probably have had some good results with some of the smaller things, but some of the bigger ones are presenting challenges to you. Have you asked yourself what’s different?

I reflected on this because I’ve wished for some things and what I got was even better than I’d imagined (and some never manifested, thank goodness!). There was the time I finished reading my last paperback novel and thought, “I need more novels.” The next day, I found around 100 novels on the table in the laundry room of my building. Forty-five books came home with me. And there was the time I glanced at the corner of my apartment in the pre-war building I live in and thought, “I want a lamp for that corner, and I want it to go with the building’s architecture.” A few hours later, I found a lamp from the 1930s in perfect working order in the basement. I could keep going with a long list of things, people, and resources that took anywhere from a few minutes to a year to reach me.

One difference I found was the energy attached to the thought. Now, any of us who’ve read any material or watched any movies about the Law of Attraction know that the deepest feeling belief we hold is what we attract. This is the key, of course.

When I thought about things I wanted, it was like saying, “I see a lamp in that corner” or “I see more novels waiting on that shelf for me to read them.” I had intention, and I had no emotions attached to getting anything. I just knew I would. No thought went into, “Where am I going to look for that, how much will it cost to get it” . . . I basically stated I was going to have it. I didn’t even commit myself to shopping for these things as part of the process, though I would have been willing to do this.

This detachment didn’t limit the amazing ability of the Universe or quantum field that responds to us in any way. It allowed the Universe to provide and provide quickly, easily, and with items, people, and resources even better than I’d imagined.

What happens when we think about attracting more money or the intimate, committed relationship we choose to have? Did you feel the emotional surge when you read that last sentence? It’s called attachment. It comes from a sense of lack, a need to fix or change, and this puts a choke-hold on your cosmic manifestation team because these emotional attachments have a greater energy than your intention to have whatever it is you choose to have.

So how do you flip this? Ask yourself if your hand can hold more water if it’s clinched or if it’s open. It’s the same with our emotional energy. Picture something that you choose to add to your life right this moment. Every time you feel any doubt about getting it or any negativity about deserving it, see your hand clinched in front of a stream of pure water. Take some deep breaths and remind yourself you can quench your thirst only if your hand is open and cupped so it can receive water. See your limiting beliefs and emotions in the same way.

You may have to work with this more than once because of programmed behaviors about how you’re “supposed” to act when you want or need something. Everything you’re experiencing at this moment is the direct result of a belief you hold and a choice you’ve made. Pause right now and realize what this says about how powerful you actually are.

Power is not nervous, anxious, fretful, or distraught. Power is inspired and intentional. It pays attention to opportunities; and when an action feels appropriate, it moves forward.

Remember that some of what we call to us, even subconsciously, we do so to help us learn and grow. A problematic or challenging situation or person showing up for us is not a sign of failure. In fact, it’s a sign of success. If we focus more on what we can learn about ourselves and how we can expand more into who we are rather than what’s going on, we can recognize this as the mastery it is.

One last bit: There is no “small” or “large” in the Law of Attraction. Anything and everything you attract is a miracle, an affirmation of your ability to create. Celebrate all of them.


Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach (iPEC) and published writer. Discover if you’re ready to create more life balance through the power of Law of Attraction coaching. Learn about Joyce’s coaching special available for the first 15 people ready to go at http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance

A Life of Your Choosing

Choice: many of us feel we have lots of them; some feel they have little or no choice in one or more areas of their lives.


“The greatest gift Life could have made to you is yourself. You are a spontaneous, self-choosing center of Life, in the great drama of being, the great joy of becoming, the certainty of eternal expansion.” [Unknown]

Everything we think, say, feel, and do (or don’t) is a choice.

The moment we recognize the value of this, we can choose to be more conscious about our choices.

In love relationships or any other area of life, staying where you aren’t “fed” is like starving in a banquet hall filled with food. When you go to a banquet, no one makes you eat. When and what you partake of is your choice. How is this metaphoric scenario any different from life?

Everything we’re experiencing in our lives right this moment is the result of a choice, whether it included action or perceived inaction. When we don’t like our outcomes, we have the power to shift future outcomes at either the inner or outer levels, or both.

If you’re one who works with the Law of Attraction or any other form of quantum-thinking system, it can take a while to switch from focusing attention on what you no longer want, or believe needs fixing or changing, to what you desire to expand more of into your life, and how you choose to feel.

The key to the greatest energy or power in this is to realize you can choose how to feel in any moment. You really can. I’m not saying it’s necessarily easy, but you can do it. This includes choosing to feel as bad as you feel you need to for as long as you feel the need to. Honoring your feelings is not a flaw. Emotional pain happens as a part of life. How you choose to suffer and for how long is up to you (usually long past the event for many).

It’s remarkable what can happen when you make a choice about what you prefer and figure out which appropriate action will move you forward to your desired outcome. For one thing, it takes your emotionally-charged focus off of where it doesn’t belong . . . what you don’t like or judge as not good (or the past), and puts it where it can do the most good . . . on what you wish to create more of in your life.

Perhaps it’s time to recognize exactly how much power you really have in your life, and live it.

Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach and published writer. Discover if you’re ready to create more life balance and fulfillment through the power of coaching. http://www.freewebs.com/coach4lifebalance

Are You Traveling or on a Journey?

“Bill, you asked me if I was just traveling or if I was on a journey. Aren’t they the same thing?”
“Not at all, A. J. Not at all.”
“And the difference would be...”
“When people are just travelin, they start out with the notion they’re gonna end up someplace by a certain time. They get together what they think they’ll need and head out. They stop for fuel if they’re drivin. Maybe they stop for food or maybe they pack their own so’s to limit the stops. If a detour comes up on the highway or there’s a traffic jam, they get upset. They don’t like anythin to slow ‘em up. They’re on a schedule.
“A person on a journey prepares the basics as well, but doesn’t have a schedule…not as such. That person is willin, if not enthusiastic, about enjoyin every second. Might create detours just to see what’s there. Maybe pulls over to watch a sunrise or sunset. Might get out in a rain shower to feel the cool drops on their skin…taste the rain. That kind of person will stop along the way just to talk to people, have a new experience. You can tell a lot about how a person moves through life by how they travel.”
[Excerpt from “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say”]

Are you just traveling through life or are you on a journey? The difference is there are people who just “do” life…the job, the bills, the routines…basically just traveling from one point or moment to the next without full appreciation of the simple fact that we have moments. And there are those who live. They see every moment as an opportunity to expand their understanding, opportunities, and who they are.

One of the quickest ways to live more fully is to agree to be fully present with what you’re doing. That means having your heart, mind, emotions, and your ability to manage them for the most productive outcome, awake and in tune.

We have a tendency to think about other things while we do other things. Have you ever wished you’d been paying attention when something happened and you missed it? We do this all the time. We multi-task our brains, our emotions, and our lives instead of linking moments from one to the next like precious pearls on a strong thread.

Listening to others and our true selves with more than our ears opens our life experience into an adventure, a journey. Being anywhere other than where we are and who we’re with is a form of just passing through, like towns we pass on a highway with barely a glimpse or curiosity.

Are you traveling or are you on a journey?

Learn more about what Old Bill has to say and practical daily wisdoms at BookBuzz (http://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer). Joyce Shafer is an author; weekly columnist; and freelance editor.

Stacking Your Stories

We love a good story, told well, that entertains us. But there are some who use stories for a different purpose: Justification for why they aren’t in control of themselves and, therefore, their lives.

I have a call scheduled with someone who wants to tell me her story. Basically, she hopes I’ll “get” why her life is the way it is and will never be any better. I know for a fact that she plays this story over and over in her mind and I understand why she believes her history impacts her present and future; but the question I intend to pose after I’ve listened a bit is, “How will you use your story to move forward in your life?”

Buildings have stories. One level is stacked upon another. Every time we repeat our stories to ourselves and others, we stack another level (more often than not, extra, unnecessary weight) on top of what’s already there. The fact is every story is based mostly on perception and, usually, not enough information even if we were the ones who lived it.

What I mean by this is often, what first appears as a negative results in a positive, even if it takes years to realize it. The adage that advises us to look for the silver lining exists for a reason: It’s based on the wisdom of experience. We get locked into our stories because sometimes we just can’t believe they happened. But they did. And they are now over, in the past, history. What we do with what we’re “given” in life is more important than the fact it was “delivered” to us.

When we look for examples of courage, do we look to those who give up in the face of their challenges or those who keep moving forward despite challenges many of us hope we never have to face? Do we seek the company of those who bemoan their lot in life or those who find their inner power and create more of what they want?

It’s too easy to become attached to our stories, too attached to the momentary (negative) attention we receive when we tell them. And, when we use our time and energy telling them over and over, whether to ourselves or another, we aren’t applying energy to make our lives better and more meaningful.

Why repeat stories? Do we hope someone will give us permission to give up? If that’s a desired outcome, we can grant that permission to ourselves just as we can grant ourselves permission to leave our stories behind and create the ones we truly wish to live and share. Carolyn Myss once said when we lead with our wounds we let people know how we intend to manipulate them.

The building we structure from our lives can be one where creativity and beauty are the products, where energy and enthusiasm fuel all of our activities. Or, we can create drab structures where nothing more than widgets get produced and administrative repetition fills the hours.

What story or stories do you repeat to yourself or to others? Are your stories entertaining and empowering or do they make listeners look for the least offensive escape? Certainly, we don’t want to live in denial of what we feel or experience, and there are times we need to vent so we heal; but more often than not, we could choose to make a more “joyful noise” in the world.


Joyce Shafer is an author and weekly columnist. For life-changing everyday wisdoms, see “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say.” Her book, “How to Have What You REALLY Want” takes you through life balance coaching to move you forward. Both books available at Lulu.com. Visit her website at http://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer.

Accept Your Inheritance Today

I watched Joe Vitale’s gift of a 45-minute prosperity video sent to people on his mailing list (see my bio below for video link). Because it’s Joe, every word was worth its weight in gold. When he mentioned saying to the Universe (and to yourself), “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you,” this profoundly expanded my thoughts on a topic included in a new book I’m writing.

What does this relate to? Limiting beliefs.

If you’ve given any thought at all to limiting beliefs, you know the importance of identifying then releasing them. What I wrote is that holding onto limiting beliefs is the same as refusing to accept your inheritance. Imagine your child inheriting the ability to consciously participate in manifesting anything s/he wants to experience that brings meaning and joy to him or her, but denies possession of this ability (or refuses to use it) then complains about what’s missing from life. Let’s take this a bit further.

Who among us wouldn’t appreciate being loved unconditionally by our partner? The Universe, our partner, loves us this way. It possesses, and exists to provide, everything we might ever desire to experience or expand into our lives. How might you feel if someone you cherished refused your love and gifts?

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a person of low self-esteem, how much energy did you put into trying to help them feel better about themselves or feel they were deserving and worthy of your love and all good things? How effective were your efforts? Did they “get it” the first time you demonstrated or told them this? How did their refusal of your love and their self-worth make you feel? Granted, the Universe is a “bit” more expansive about this than we are, so probably doesn’t take it personally.

Holding onto limiting beliefs is like saying, “Ummm…thanks, Universe, but no thanks. You see, though I desire to experience your unconditional love and generosity, which you give freely to me, I don’t deserve them for more reasons than you might imagine. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone I know and you’ll find they don’t believe they deserve their full abundance inheritance either.”

Write a letter to the Universe, or say aloud, that you’re sorry you refused its gifts in the past. Ask to be forgiven for ever doubting you deserve and are worthy of its unconditional love and bounty. State that from this point on, you choose to pause when you start to do this and say instead, “Thank you. I accept.”

Universe, I love you; I’m sorry; please forgive me; thank you.

Self, I love you; I’m sorry; please forgive me; thank you.

(And, thank you, Joe Vitale.)

I wish you a wonderful day and a day filled with wonders.

Get Joe’s amazing gifts by signing up for his free newsletter at www.mrfire.com then watch the video at http://blog.mrfire.com/prosperity/inside-attract-wealth/. Joyce Shafer is author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say” and “How to Have What You REALLY Want,” available at Lulu.com. Visit her website at www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer.

Are You an Innie or an Outie?

During a conversation with someone who wishes to move out of a lifetime of negative behaviors and beliefs, I realized as she spoke, that what it takes for her to feel better is for something outside of herself to improve or indicate a circumstance is getting better. Anyone even minimally familiar with the Law of Attraction is either shaking or nodding their head in understanding as they read this.

I mentioned this pattern to the woman and asked, “If everything starts as an idea in the mind, what might you do at an inner level to feel even a little better at any moment?” She responded that she had no idea. We talked a little more then ended the call with her agreeing to an assignment: She’s to take a notebook and pen to a private place, write this question at the top of a page, and let the words flow through the pen.

With no inner guidance system or tool(s) in place, how could she possibly feel empowered to move past her negative belief system?

It’s no wonder so many feel the frustration and fear they do if the measure of change or a reason to feel good can only come from matters and others outside of themselves. This pattern puts our ability to feel good in the hands of others and circumstances. It abandons personal power; and whether we’re familiar with the term or not, it feels scary.

Personal power is what lifts us out of bed in the morning and moves us through our moments. It’s what assists us to make choices about our lives that are appropriate for us. It’s what enables us to recognize that specific challenges are usually finite, so we can take proper action to move past them and expand something about ourselves and our lives in a productive way.

We also spoke about how emotionally-charged thoughts attract more of the same to us and how the Universe fulfils our “order” without censorship. I shared with her that when I first heard this, it was uncomfortable; and that my next thought was, “What if it’s true? If it’s true, what am I going to do about it?” If you traveled this path as well, you know what you do: You become more conscientious about how and what you think and feel. You ask yourself what you need to do first at the inner level then the outer to aim for the desired outcome, which is to feel better. This is how we empower ourselves to respond to life rather than react to it.

Since this is the first time she’s ever thought about what she might do at an inner level, I’m looking forward to hearing what came to her and what this experience felt like for her.

Some of you may have felt as I did when this realization came to me: As though I’d found my wings; and even though my “flying” skills were a bit shaky, the more I flew, the stronger I’d get.

If you haven’t been using your wings lately, maybe it’s time to give them some exercise. You never know what you’ll discover while in flight.

Joyce Shafer is an author; freelance rewriter, editor, and proofreader; as well as a weekly columnist published at various online venues. Learn more about practical wisdoms for everyday life in her book, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" and how to move any area of your life to the next level in "How to Have What You REALLY Want," both available at www.lulu.com. Visit her new website to see her services for aspiring writers at http://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer.

Are Opinions Based on Knowledge?

Bill Bullard said, “Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge…is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world.”

Our society seems to admire highly opinionated people. People with strong opinions, stated with energy, come across as dynamic and knowledgeable. In a world where people spend a great deal of money on books and seminars about self-esteem, it makes sense that many would think this way. Additionally, the media encourages us to live on a diet of sensationalism; and this seems to lead us to the computer term: Garbage in, garbage out.

The quote made me think of movies about Native American tribal councils of olden days who’d meet in a teepee to discuss a situation that required a decision. (Hollywood followed the patriarchal model, so I’ll use masculine terms since I’m referencing movies and not historical facts.) The chief would sit silently as each warrior offered his opinion. After everyone spoke, the chief would puff on a pipe until he was ready to speak. The implication was that he contemplated everyone’s contributions about the problem and potential solutions. Inevitably, his comments (hopefully) brought people beyond their personal opinions and predilections so they, too, considered the good of the tribe instead of their personal issue or agenda.

In this representation, no matter how brave or dynamic, young warriors were never made chief. The tribe recognized that their leader needed to be a wizened individual who would consider short-term and long-term consequences of every decision he made on behalf of his people, one who’d look at the bigger picture. He couldn’t afford to be opinionated or force his opinions on the tribe.

Certainly some opinions are natural and necessary for us to know what we want and don’t want, enjoy and don’t enjoy. But perhaps we can sometimes slow down a bit on jumping straight to an opinion in certain situations. Life coach training taught us to seek to understand before we seek to be understood.

Sometimes when others speak, we don’t really listen to them. We don’t pay attention to key words or body language, or even their history. Instead, we focus on our responses or reactions to what they’re saying and even the point we want to make or foist upon them. All of us have witnessed someone (or done it ourselves) go right into attack-mode at a comment or action rather than ask one or more questions to learn what motivated another to say or do something.

Some people have strong, out-going personalities and others are willing to take whatever these types say as correct or true. They are like the warriors I described above: Always armed with an opinion, usually stated assertively or even aggressively. There was a time when I’d be in the company of these types and wonder if perhaps I shouldn’t be more like them. As I’ve learned to recognize and appreciate my authentic self, I’ve become comfortable with preferring to emulate the chief more often than not. There’s a great deal you can learn when you listen, observe, ask questions, and seek to understand before you seek to be understood.

This also keeps me away from attack-mode, even though this mode is not my nature. My preference is not to berate or degrade another. More fulfillment and joy comes to me when I play a role in assisting someone to self-empower, to identify what is appropriate for them rather than tell them what I think is appropriate for them, to, as the quote says, suspend my ego so I can understand what it’s like for them to live in their inner and outer world. If I don’t have any inkling about what they’re feeling and experiencing, how can I contribute anything of quality in the way of a comment or right question?

There are certainly times when being a warrior is necessary; but sometimes, we could behave like chiefs. Chiefs are certainly warriors; they just operate on a different level.

Joyce Shafer is an author; freelance rewriter, editor, and proofreader; as well as a weekly columnist published at various online venues. Learn more about practical wisdoms for everyday life in her book, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" and how to move any area of your life to the next level in "How to Have What You REALLY Want," both available at http://www.lulu.com. Visit her new website at http://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer.

Does Positive Thinking Work?

I received an e-newsletter with a comment from a highly successful individual arguing that positive thinking doesn’t work and why. He also claimed that when he expresses this opinion, some people get their knickers in a knot, especially those who’ve spent decades reading the books and attending seminars and, he added, without any significant change in their lives. Here are some other points he made.

No amount of positive thinking will create a shift for a couch potato.
Nor for someone who has deeply held negative feelings about what they can accomplish.
The 20% for whom positive thinking works were achievers to begin with.
No amount of positive thinking will ever shift how life is experienced for a pessimist.

He makes some good points; but I’d like to look at and expand on them.

Positive thinking and repeating or writing affirmations without taking action is like looking at ingredients in your kitchen and wishing for a particular meal to happen. Now, it’s possible you could feel hungry for something in particular, say, lasagna, and a neighbor invites you over or brings you a serving of lasagna. These are delightful occurrences; but more often than not, you’ll have to get into the kitchen and cook.

If someone identifies their nature (some of it learned) as pessimistic, that’s a huge step in the right direction. A pessimist doesn’t need to become an optimist; he or she just needs to acquire, develop, and rely on tools that move him quickly to where he prefers to be. The writer of the article is correct about positive thinking not working because what we attract to us is based on our deeply held feelings. And, thank goodness. If the average person thinks over 12,000 thoughts each day, we could really get ourselves into some unpleasant situations if all of them came true.

I don’t know if the commenter is correct about the 20:80 ratio but more than likely, some of the 80% he placed into non- or underachiever pessimists have probably had some successes in their lifetimes. What he feels will create results is visualization. My thought is that positive thinking, affirmations, and visualization work if and only if an individual can touch a feeling of having it.

Previously, I wrote that my triggered reaction (learned behavior) falls into the category of pessimist. Because I decided that it doesn’t feel good to sustain this feeling, I’ve developed tools that help me move away from it so I can feel the way I prefer. My biggest motivator, and not just because someone wrote or said it but because I live it, is that whatever I feel the strongest is what I expand more of into my life. A significant distinction to get here is that this doesn’t mean I never have challenges enter my life, it means I choose my thoughts, words, actions, and feelings about everything.

It’s okay to identify what you don’t like or want then identify the opposite or what’s appropriate for you. The key is you have to let your feelings about what you prefer be stronger than what you want to change. Otherwise, your feelings stay on what you don’t like and you get more of that.

You have to intend what you prefer. You have to commit to it, no mater what it takes. Think about anything you’ve ever been determined to do. You did it, right? Go ahead and write your vision or goal down. Visualize it. Affirm it’s yours. But if you really want to charge it up, you’re going to have to believe it will be yours and allow it.

How I get in touch with a feeling is to recall a moment when I felt a particular way, let’s use successful as an example. I may start out bringing to mind what was going on and who was there, but I end up at what it felt like to know I’d chosen a target, taken aim, and hit it. I “stand” in the middle of the feeling until it’s so familiar I can call it up at will.

Some of the actions you take may not work. Those are called Lessons about How Not to Do It. If you’re committed to success about anything, your mantra can be, “There’s a way and I’m going to find it or create it.”

The way to do positive thinking may be to state, “I’m positive I can choose to feel differently at any time. I’m positive I can choose to be open to good things happening in my life. I’m positive I can find the actions that create the outcomes I choose.”

It’s not about what comes to us in life, it’s about what we choose to do with what we have, who we are, and who we intend to be.


Joyce Shafer is an author; freelance rewriter, editor, and proofreader; as well as a weekly columnist published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her books, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com. Visit her new website at http://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer.

Every Fear Hides a Wish

This title is a line of dialogue from a movie I recently watched. I shared it with a friend who emailed back, “What does THAT mean?”

I suppose it could mean we wish the opposite of what we’re afraid of were true instead. If we fear instability in some area of our lives, perhaps we wish security in this matter was etched in stone so we never had to think about it again.

It could mean we’re in denial. Someone once said we only criticize when we feel restricted. Criticism stems from fear. Or, we might fear something or someone because we recognize that an aspect we see in them or it exists within us. Maybe we don’t believe we can properly manage that aspect, so we impose fear on ourselves to keep in line.

Days, or even years, could be spent identifying fears and wishes and we’d never cover all of them, mostly because we’ll always be able to come up with new ones. As intriguing as it is for me to play with this, I asked myself, “But, where should this go from here?”

Eliminating a fear (or managing it) is something we can develop inner tools for. Making wishes become realities is also something we can do if we apply ourselves at the inner and outer levels. So what would be the next step in considering this?

In my opinion, I think ultimately we want to feel strong. We want to feel a level of self-trust in that fears and wishes are matters we readily address but perhaps differently than we may have before.

Self-trust and security have a partnership. Security, as much as we’d like it to be an outer experience, is really an inner one. Everything changes; and that can rattle our sense of security pretty darn fast. However, when our sense of it comes from within, change might stir (or roil) the waters, but we know we can restore inner balance by pulling from the strong foundation of who we know ourselves to be. When we have a defined level of self-trust, we know we can manage ourselves through any gust or gale. Our self-trust is our security.

Perhaps the next time you feel a fear, look for which wish accompanies it. Ask yourself how you truly want to feel about the matter. Then ask yourself what stops you from feeling that way now. You may quickly realize the only thing that stops you is that you made a different choice. You can give yourself permission to feel the way you wish to feel, no matter what.

Try it. Watch what happens in your life as a result.

Joyce Shafer is a published author; freelance rewriter, editor, proofreader; and weekly columnist published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her books, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," at www.lulu.com/content/773467, and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com/content/796351. Visit her new website at ttp://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer.

Not Your Ordinary Sand Castle

Morning stretched itself awake as I made my way down to the shore and joined the handful of early risers. Lacy edges of waves lapped gently over my feet and I scrunched my toes in warm sand. Good time to build a sand castle. It was modest, done mostly for relaxation and meditation, not something anyone would pause to admire. After I finished the basic shape, I began to decorate it with shells. A boy about eight years old walked up and began to kick at the castle. I wondered what was in his mind for him to do such a thing.

What happened next happened quickly. I held out my hand filled with shells and said, “Here, help me put these on.” He stopped kicking, looked at me, then took the shells and began to place them on the castle. We decorated in comfortable silence. “I’m out of shells,” he said after several minutes. “Get more,” I replied. He did, giving some to me. After a while, another little boy came along and started to kick the castle. My assistant started to fight him. I said, “Give him some shells.” The new boy worked with us for a couple of minutes then left.

When the entire exterior was covered in shells, we stepped back to look at our work. “We did a good job,” I said, “Thank you.” His eyes met mine then turned back to the castle, then he said it was time for him to go. I watched as he walked away and wondered how long our creation would remain in tact. The next morning, I found the shell-adorned castle still there. It was evident that only nature had touched it with its tide.

The boy must have been surprised when I extended my hand to him rather than yell at him to stop kicking or reacted more aggressively towards him. He chose to invest time and energy into his ornamental efforts then felt a need to protect the creation when someone sought to destroy it. Perhaps in human consciousness, Investment equals Connection. How different life might be if we assumed our connection first. Investment in each other and our world would be automatic.

If we don’t feel or perceive our connection to something or someone, it’s easy to either not care about it or them, or to destroy without thought or awareness. I accept what quantum physics reveals to us: All in existence is comprised of the same energy that is everywhere in the universe. The only separation is, ultimately, in our minds. Quantum physics reveals that after we peel away all layers of manifestation, absolutely nothing is there, nothing but the shared consciousness in all things and the potential for manifestation. Whether we call that consciousness the Creator or we call it Pudding doesn’t matter. It’s real. It’s who we are. We just haven’t fully grasped that yet.

From time to time, I wonder if the boy remembers that moment, if it had any further influence on his life. That moment is still a golden thread in my life’s tapestry. It was a lovely, peaceful solution; an act of loving kindness toward a stranger who would become a momentary friend. When someone gives us a challenge, perhaps we can offer them some “shells.” Every challenge is an opportunity to expand who we are. If we practice peaceful solutions with smaller challenges, we may one day seek to find peaceful ways to deal with the really big ones. And, isn’t that what love would do?

Please visit my website at http://www.freewebs.com/joyceshafer for more information about my books.

Watch That Swing!

If you take hold of a pendulum and pull it a certain distance from center point then release it, the rebound swing in the opposite direction matches the distance you held it from center point.

When we’ve felt restricted (allowed it) and “free” ourselves from that scenario, we may experience what I call the pendulum swing. This means when we release ourselves from a mode of behavior, we may not return to center balance, but pop over to the other extreme in some measure. We usually operate in extremes if our point of center, our inner compass, doesn’t have a strong foundation.

I observed this swing in a young woman I’m acquainted with when she posted a message that was so different from her usual posts, I couldn’t help note what seemed like an instant personality change. We’ve been virtual acquaintances for five-plus years; so seeing her spontaneously alter her personality was a surprise and I communicated this to her. Shortly after this exchange, she posted another message stating how she was now “free” and planned on…well, she listed what she planned on doing and behaviors she intended to exhibit, all in proclamation that she’d restricted her self-expression for too long.

It’s possible this “new” path is her true nature, but I couldn’t help note her words mimicked another individual’s on the site. I’m aware they’ve been friends for years and her new postings had all the earmarks of his influence. His nature is to operate in extremes, whereas she’s never indicated similar behaviors. This is what gave me pause.

Without mentioning the other person, I described the pendulum swing that often follows a major life change, which she’d recently experienced. I added that as long as she had head and heart alignment about this new path of freedom (that these were truly her ideas) then I wished her well. A reminder was included that if we enter a playground that isn’t one we really want to play in or belong in, we end up having to heal our heart, mind, spirit, and sometimes body. She responded she realized she was rushing things and hadn’t been aware of the pendulum possibility but could see the sense of it. That she could be so readily influenced by the other person indicates she hasn’t defined who she is and how she chooses to re-create her “new” self and life.

At all times, we have to do what is appropriate for us, not what is appropriate for others. If we find ourselves in a drastic-change situation or considering one, it’s okay and advisable to give thought to who we wish to become and how we want to live. So many don’t live as their authentic selves because they haven’t taken the time needed to consider what being authentic means to them. Jumping into the opposite behavior is one way to discover who you are, but it’s seldom the easiest or most productive way to do this. In fact, it’s often more destructive than not.

If you’re ready to discover and live as your authentic self, fall in love with the process so you can genuinely fall in love with who you are. Just as you get to know another, which takes time, get to know yourself. Let your inner compass point you in the direction that’s appropriate for you. No one else knows what your path should be. Just you.

Joyce Shafer is a published author; freelance rewriter, editor, proofreader; and United Press International weekly columnist, also published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her books, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," at www.lulu.com/content/773467, and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com/content/796351. Contact her at jls1422@yahoo.com.

Let A Good Book Do Twice the Work!

Every month, I contribute a portion of my book royalties to the I Am Foundation (http://www.iamfoundation.org/). Get a good book (or two) for yourself or as a gift for a friend and help support a worthy cause -- Literacy.

The books:

"I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say"

www.lulu.com/content/773467

and

"How to Have What You REALLY Want"

www.lulu.com/content/796351

Reader reviews are available at both links. Books are also available online at amazon, borders, and barnes&noble.

Enjoy a good book and let your purchase help children around the world receive books as well.

Thank you for helping!

Joyce Shafer, Author

Your Wish Is My Command

From fiction-story dialogue to contemporary meta-spiritual reference, this utterance says a lot. But, how many understand its impact on their experiences?

The fictional story most of us are familiar with had Aladdin’s genie grant three wishes. In “The Secret,” it’s stated the original story has no limit on the number of wishes. It’s easy to accept unlimited wishes; but realizing what the genie’s response means as it applies to the Law of Attraction, may take a bit more thought.

This week I spoke with someone who’s fairly new to this type of information. She accepts it; but as soon as any challenge appears in her life, even a small one, old programs bite her on the bumper sticker…only her bumper sticker doesn’t read, “Shift Happens;” hers is missing a key letter.

She insisted she can’t move forward until she has Every. Last. Detail. Detailed (quoting Mike Litman again, “You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.”). She commented her age is involved (it isn’t), you have to have money (not a lot), have to have flyers (not true); and, her list of have-to-haves went on until I interrupted her.

We discussed how for around $30 she can get business cards printed. Then we discussed the free ways she can advertise her services such as attend networking events, be a guest speaker at local meetings, contact former clients who were highly impressed with her skills and work ethic (all of them), and a few other ideas that came up.

We talked about how every single emotionally-charged thought she has causes her “personal genie,” a.k.a. the quantum field of potential, to respond, “Your wish is my command,” without censoring whatever thought-form she sets into motion. I asked her to write this down and put it where she can easily see it often.

She acknowledged that every time she spins herself into a negative vortex, she gets more of the same. I asked her, if she’s able to do that for experiences she doesn’t desire to have or expand how she would feel about doing it for what she wants to expand more of into her life. And I suggested that instead of focusing on what she feels needs to be changed, she focus on what it feels like to live her dream. It’s interesting that she can accept responsibility for creating negatives in her life, yet assumes responsibility for positives comes from outside her.

When Aladdin tells the genie his wish, he doesn’t ask the genie how it’s going to get accomplished; he knows it will. (If there was anything he needed to do to assist this, I’m pretty sure he’d do it.) It’s the same for us. We muck up the process when we doubt it will happen (nothing good happens to me), doubt how it can happen (I have to control every detail, but I also disclaim my inner power), and doubt we’re worthy to have our wish granted (we place limits on receiving).

When we place limits on what can happen and how it can happen, we simultaneously set limits on allowing it into our lives. It’s a bit like an invited guest arriving, but unable to enter until we grant permission by opening the door.

At one point, the woman said her genie wasn’t doing his job right. “Just remember,” I reminded her, “it’s you who tells your genie what to do.” As you go through the moments of your day, imagine hearing, “Your wish is my command,” after every thought or word from you. Kind of makes you want to pay better attention to this, doesn’t it.


Joyce Shafer is a published author; freelance rewriter, editor, proofreader; and United Press International weekly columnist, also published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her books, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," at http://www.lulu.com/content/773467 and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com/content/796351. Contact her at jls1422@yahoo.com.

A Dynamite Little Book!

Dynamite comes in small packages, they say.

"I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say" by Joyce Shafer only has 54 pages, but it contains the punch of a parcel of dynamite! The really catchy title struck a chord immediately I read it, because there are far too many superstar gurus around today.

When I started reading, I kept thinking: "Yes, good point! I’ll mark this page." Then I’d say the same thing on the next page, and the next. I soon realized that there is a gem of wisdom on virtually every page. Many had more than one!

What I really liked about this story is the easy conversational telling. Here we have a really clever use of fiction to get really important messages across very effectively, devoid of the dogma often attached to booksteaching important life-lessons. This conversation combines age-old teachings with quantum physics making it an up-to-date manual for life. Absorbing Old Bill’s philosophy into our own lives is sure to bring greater happiness and joy. However you use it, you need to read this book. My suggestion: Get it. Read it. Think about it. Blend these principles into the foundation of your being. Repeat as necessary.

David Ambrose

Author of "Your Life Manual: Practical Steps to Genuine Happiness"

Teacher, Coach and founder of The Happiness Minute

www.YourLifeManual.com : www.HappinessMinute.com : www.HappinessLifeCoach.com

Set Yourself and Them Free

The Law of Attraction states that whatever we hold our focus, specifically, our emotionally-charged feelings on is what we get more of even if it’s not what we desire. It’s easy to relate this to a better job, more money, and all the improvements we typically seek to expand into our lives. If you’re familiar with “The Secret,” the law also applies to relationships.

When we’re first introduced to information such as this, and even after working with it for years, we discover we have many issues and areas of our lives we wish to affect. Akin to separating like-colored marbles, we find we have to deal with each “color” one at a time in order to accomplish this.

I’ve been on a diligent path to address my “marbles,” so matters are dealt with as they come to my attention. One in particular is a long-time relationship with someone who’s been considered difficult. In the last several years, circumstances changed and her behaviors escalated to a point that people who needed to interact with her found they couldn’t cope with her and couldn’t get her to understand how she was affecting those around her, so began to avoid her. I was one of them. It was truly challenging for me to engage with her at any level; yet, I wasn’t willing to give up.

One of my affirmations is, “I EXPECT harmonious relationships.” This got my attention during a morning meditation and I asked myself, “How can you expect your relationship with her to be anything other than what it’s been as long as you have her fixed in your mind as capable of only certain behaviors?”

I didn’t give this a lot of thought. I simply chose in that moment to set her free from my imposed belief and expectation that she couldn’t behave any other way. Nor did I envision her behaving as I’d like her to. I Let Her Be. We spoke the following week and what happened might be called a miracle by some. After years of conversations I regarded as tortuous, we had the most pleasant conversation in decades. Within a few days, I received an email from someone whose experiences with this woman matched mine. His comments were that he’d just had a most remarkable conversation with her, unlike any he’d had with her in years; and he was stunned.

Our view of others can be so subtle in our consciousness we don’t realize how we affect our relationship with them. In setting her free, I set myself free, as well. After all, not all of my memories about this person are what we’d called negative ones. There are many, many positive ones. Since I’ve shifted my perception of her, more positive memories float into my consciousness and I embrace them. This is what’s called Changing the Past. We don’t actually change the past, but rather how we perceive or view it. The outcome is that doing this has changed the way I experience the present.

Set them free and you set yourself free.

Joyce Shafer is a published author; freelance rewriter, editor, proofreader; and United Press International weekly columnist, also published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her books, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," at www.lulu.com/content/773467, and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com/content/796351. Contact her at jls1422@yahoo.com.

Happiness Comes in Bites

Choosing happiness when it’s not your habit is like the old joke about how you eat an elephant…one bite at a time.

A friend shared she finds it challenging to switch from negative, unhappy mode (usual habit) to positive, happy mode (preferred habit) and gets frustrated when she feels anything other than what she desires. My response was to remind her about her fairly recent decision to lose weight. Just as she didn’t decide how much her target amount to lose was then see it happen by the next day, week, or month, neither should she expect to switch “gears” overnight. She’ll accomplish choosing to feel better more readily (and easily) if she chooses to do so one moment at a time just as she approached her new way of eating one bite at a time.

I also reminded her that when an event or situation happens that’s more serious or causes sadness, we have to watch that we don’t judge ourselves for feeling our emotions or resist feeling them in the initial stages. We have a right to feel what we feel. We also have the ability to choose to respond rather than react.

One of her key emotional concerns is anger. Anger is a useful emotion in that it brings our attention to something that’s out of balance and needs our attention. We don’t want to eliminate anger; we do want to learn how to manage and use it productively.

We also talked about emotional “triggers.” Our triggers are ingrained in us by the age of seven. One of the best things I ever did for myself was to be honest about the fact I get triggered into negativity. However, over the years, I’ve been diligent about discovering which tools or new “programs” help me move into a positive state of being faster. We don’t necessarily delete our old programs as we do on computers, but we can install new ones. This process then begins to look like this:

● We get triggered into an emotion.
● We train ourselves to recognize we’ve been triggered.
● Take a moment to honor rather than judge ourselves for these feelings.
● Self-remind that we have a new program installed then engage it.
● Take appropriate action, whether at the inner or outer level or both, that leads to head and heart alignment.

Sometimes the most appropriate action is no action because we feel at a loss about what to do. That’s not a problem or fault, it’s honest. When you experience this, tell yourself you may not know right now, but as soon as you do, you’ll do what’s needed.

My friend has a dog. I suggested she remember to be as kind and understanding with herself as she would with her beloved four-legged family member; to offer herself the same level of guidance and looking out for her best interests as she would for her puppy. She would never treat her pet the way she treats herself.

I recall wise words given to me years ago: Treat yourself the same way you’d polish silver…gently.

Joyce Shafer is a published author; freelance rewriter, editor, proofreader; and United Press International weekly columnist, also published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her books, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," at www.lulu.com/content/773467, and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com/content/796351.

Shift the White Noise (Self-Talk) of the Mind

Maybe you’re like me and you’ve been diligent about letting go of limitations in an area or areas of your life. You’ve experienced and continue to experience the shift as a result of your focused thoughts, words, feelings, and actions.

Though I’ve been working with this for years (okay, decades), my focus on this really kicked into high gear since June 2006. Certain areas took priority and got and still get my attention.

We know that the best experience of life is when we have balance in all areas of our lives. The iPEC (Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching) training manual lists the primary areas as (not in any particular order): Personal Development, Spiritual Awareness, Fun and Enjoyment, Intimate and Social Relationships, Health/Aging, Personal Finance, Career/Profession, and Family/Parenting. You rank each from 1 to 10, with 1 being the least satisfied level and 10 the most. This gives you a good assessment about how balanced your life is and which areas need attention.

I’ve known that once priority areas started to progress, I’d turn my attention to a specific area that’s been getting little to no attention from me simply because it hasn’t been the right moment. What I didn’t expect was the self-talk that was going on. One day, I actually listened to myself and asked, “How will this dialogue expand more of what I desire into my life?” Well, it won’t. It’s done a gang-buster job of attracting exactly what my statements have been.

We get so used to playing certain “tapes” in our minds, they become like white noise in a room.

I sat down with pen and notebook in hand and wrote down what I was doing. I noted the statements I was making to myself, and then I wrote their opposites. In order to shift any self-talk, it helps to do what I’ve just described. It helps to pay attention when these comments pop into mind and remind ourselves that’s the old tape playing and we have a new tape. Keep the new statements handy and read them whenever the old ones start to loop. Read them every morning or at least every other morning.

Just like the other areas I’ve been focused on, shifting this one will take as long as I take to shift my inner-level beliefs. Limiting thoughts and feelings will surface and I’ll pause to look at them, but not dwell on them, and I’ll rewrite them so they say what I intend for myself. In the process, I’ll discover hidden facets I possess. I’ll feel myself grow even stronger and witness expansion in my life. That’s how it works.

This is going to be fun!

Joyce Shafer is a published author; freelance rewriter, editor, proofreader; and United Press International weekly columnist, also published at various online venues. See the exceptional reviews of her first book, "I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say," at www.lulu.com/content/773467, and "How to Have What You REALLY Want," at www.lulu.com/content/796351. Contact her at jls1422@yahoo.com.

Support Global Literacy

Take a bite of a couple of good books, get a couple of gifts, and Make a Difference.

The I AM Foundation (http://www.iamfoundation.org) is all about global literacy. They supply books to children all over the world and I've been a supporter of theirs and their mission for a while. This is why I decided to try something and I ask you to help me with this.

My books are offered in paperback and e-book, which means anyone with a computer anywhere on the planet can order at least the e-book. Fifteen-percent of my share of either book versions sold through the month of March will go to I AM to buy more books for children and expand more minds.

I ask you to, at the very least, share this message with others and ask them to share it with others. If 5 people contact 5 others and so on, we can really make a difference.

There are also free gifts: The original book on the Law of Attraction, "Thought Vibration," from my friend Michael Murphy (http://www.powerfirmations.com) and "Life is a Pane," written and offered by my friend Stuart "GuruStu" Rosen (http://gurustu.com/liap-bonus.php).

What to do:

1. Share this message with others and ask them to do the same.

2. The books are available at http://www.lulu.com/content/773467 (I Don't Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say) and http://www.lulu.content/796351 (How to Have What You REALLY Want) Remember: Paperback and e-book versions are available for both.

3. Download your gifts.

Thanks! Joyce

What Do You Really Need?

I spoke with a friend who just started a new job she doesn’t like. She really wants to start her own business doing something she’s very good at and enjoys. It’s not a matter of figuring out what it may be, she already knows and has done it in the past.

During our conversation, she wanted to get into the “story” of how the woman who is supposed to train her doesn’t want to teach her anything. My response was, “That makes sense…because you don’t want to learn it. Let go of how she behaves. It’s just a part of the fact you’re not where you want to be or doing what you want to do.”

Then she started telling me about how she’s a certain age and what happens to people when they reach a certain age. I stopped her mid-comment and said, “What about instead of stating why your age is involved, you say that you choose to do the work you prefer? How does that feel?” She did get that instead of justifying why she doesn’t want a regular job she’s allowed to say she has a different vision and intention for her life.

We discussed the ad she used years ago that triggered 21 potential clients to call her in 2 days. She was concerned the ad wasn’t good enough. I said, “What if the ad not only ignites the same response, but people see your ad and get excited to see you’re back in business?”

We went back and forth for a while; and though she continued to shift her energy into a positive direction, old patterns of behavior kept creeping in which is something that happens to all of us. And she started to express the concerns many people have about getting everything perfect and aligned before she got started. I asked if her pen and paper were still handy since she’d been taking notes and asked her to write down the following quote from Mike Litman:

“You don’t have to get it right you just have to get it going.”

She laughed out loud when I said it. No matter how much planning we do to start a business or project of any size, we’re going to have to adjust and tweak as we go along. And, that’s an ongoing process if we do our business well. We also talked about the fact that “can’t” is a dirty word whereas “won’t” may be accurate.

Another excellent quote I gave her is from Kurt Wright: “Commitment is a magnet.” If she’s as committed to doing this business as she says she is, she’ll attract the right people, right jobs, and right ideas. That’s simply how the Law of Attraction works. If she says it can’t happen or it’s difficult, she’ll get that, as well.

What we really need in regard to any area of our lives is the attitude, focus, vision, appreciation, feeling, commitment, and passion to make it happen. And, it helps if we choose to enjoy the ride.